By spanning three 2560x1440 ViewSonic displays, the LPC can achieve a maximum resolution of 7680x1440, blasting over 11 million pixels into the unprotected eyes of all who gaze upon its explosive radiance. The 27-inch LEDs also produce colors so accurate we can tell you irrefutably that Gordon Freeman’s chestplate is actually cadmium orange with gamboge detailing.

Sleek and to-the-point, the Rig keeps us looking sharp while enjoying the crisp, deep sounds produced by its 40mm speaker drivers. Those sounds include the screams of fallen foes, various internal combustion engines, and subliminal messages the LPC whispers into the edges of our consciousness. Side note, we’ve recently decided to strip the gold out of our electronics and deposit it in a mysterious locked box marked "body fund."

ASUS’ top-tier X79 motherboard is one of the few that can handle our insane quad-SLI video card setup, and it gives us support for Intel Turbo Boost should we feel so inclined. It also features four USB 3.0 ports, eight USB 2.0 ports, and a PS/2 port in case we feel like plugging in an old trackball mouse, tossing back a few Bawls, and alt-tabbing between five simultaneous Warcraft III matches.

The Aventum II could house an entire family of urban raccoons (trivia: a group of raccoons is known as a “gaze”), but we’ve elected to stuff the organs of the Large Pixel Collider into it. Digital Storm’s cavernous enclosure is a spacious workspace for our mega mobo, three 143mm radiators, four Nvidia GTX Titans, and all the watercooling veins running between these systems. Like your favorite obscure Finnish band, the Aventum II is composed entirely of metal and has 22 fans.

No animals were harmed in the installation of our four (count ‘em, four) GTX Titans, but it’s said that the self-esteem of all nearby PCs noticeably dipped. An uncomfortable combined 24GB of GDDR5 is the muscle of the Large Pixel Collider, letting us reach a resolution of 4096x2160 on a single monitor. When active, our quad-SLI GPU array actively strengthens the immune systems of nearby children and small mammals.

Snapping anything less than the maximum amount of memory into the Large Pixel Collider would have been a disservice to Benjamin Franklin, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Aretha Franklin. Eight 8GB slabs of Corsair’s Dominator RAM, running at 2400MHz, finally makes possible our dream to run 7,180 simultaneous instances of Minesweeper.